I had a dream, and in this dream I was shown one of the basic female behavioral pattern. One of their basic template of actions. Their basic script.
After that I went back in my life and thought about all the women I had. Both the ones I had success with and the ones I failed.Naa, wrong way of thinking. Both the way with which there was chemistry and we embodied it, the ones in which there was no chemistry, and the ones in which there was chemistry and we did not embody it. Better.
And in all those cases I could only see 4 or 5 basic patterns. Not a huge diversity. Then I realised how I keep on falling on the same hole over and over again.
Let’s look at those patterns before I tell you my dream, and we look at the most complex one.
Pattern:
- We kiss by surprise. We are having a good time together, at some point I feel it is the right time. A window of opportunity has open. Possibilities:
- I either take it and kiss her.
- I don’t take it (for any reason, she might be married, or a student of mine or whatever), and sometimes no new windows open up again at all.
- I am clumsy, try to take it but shy off at the last moment. In this case it is very improbable that another window will open at all. Example: Elena, Elena was her name. Maybe 2 decades ago. Summer resort, we were looking at the night sky I was pointing her at some costellation. The window opened, and I… kissed her on the nose. LOL. Com’on I was young. :). How sweet. Next day she went off with another guy and came back hand in hand, and so they were for the whole holiday.
- She is so taken by me that does everything.
- We are both following a wave of naturality. Things just happen spontaneously. No one is driving, and following it we can end up in bed with no one having predicted it at all. This is every women’s dream. This is what they dream, desire and hope. It happens. A good bandit knows how to make it happen more often, and when he does it is not fully spontaneous, and women then counteract with the next pattern. In short an arm’s race erupts.
- She says maybe, meaning yes. You understand yes, and then she acts out a no. Complicated, eh! And this is what I am facing. Not in the last flirt, just everywhere. This is the pattern that makes us crazy. The pattern that women follow beyond what they say.
And now let’s look at the dream:
We were in a summer resort. We had chemistry, but nothing had happened yet. She was leaving the next day. I went to her and speaking we agreed to pass the last time together (she says yes). We know that we would end up having sex, or at least I will try. I have no other possibilitiy, she is leaving after. We both seem to want it. I leave her room, and go to my room to prepare myself to go out with her. She does not come. I look for her, and she is in the room of another friend of her. He is naked. His gf is in the shower, and they are on the bed chatting and laughing.
So here it is. She says yes, she means yes, and then she does something else. Whatever she has said is meaningless to her. She is not tied out by her own word. And this is good. Would you want a girl that have sex with you not because she feels like, but because she promised you so. Com’on, grow up. “But Daddy, you promised me so”. “But Darling, you promised me so”. So she says yes, she means yes. She raises your expectations, and then she does something else. What to do? Sulking is not the right thing. Getting angry, uhuhuh, terrible, terrible! Mirroring her behaviour has better chances. It might be the right moment to pass some time with a female friend of yours. Or getting in the room and joining them in chatting. In short, acting alpha, not acting beta. Not being tied by your expectations.
Now I strongly believe that this behaviour is not society dependent. I think it is actually in the genes. It’s not that they are evil, is that they have been evolved to act so. I think something similar is even described in Coming of Age in Samoa. We are in the classics, here. If you look at Shakespeare. Venus and Adonis is number 2. She does everything. Romeo and Juliet is number 3. The first time they meet they even compose a sonnet just by speaking. And I am sure that if you look in Shakespearse other compositions you will find the others. I remember Emmanuelle (from Emmanuelle Arson) describing a similar one (I quote from memory):
In front of him you take off your dress, if he takes you you make love. If he stops for any reason you get dressed again, asking him to forgive you. Then you always refuse his approach, up to the point of accusing him of rape if he forces you. And his last thought before dying will be for you.
Then it is interesting to see how the patterns are woven together. You might be following a wave of naturality (#3), then a windows opens (#1), then you don’t take it (#1.2), then she tests you by saying, “no, oh no” (#4).
And be clear, number 4 is a test. It has to be considered that way. This is the best healthy approach. If you pass the test you have the girl… for some time. If not she wouldn’t want to have a beta male in any case. It’s a win-win situation for her.
Also the same pattern is repeated at different levels. For example I have not so many problems by now in kissing a women. Yet in touching I might feel there is a window open to escalate further. Maybe to touch her sex, and I might lose it.
Now, are those all the pattern that women follow all over the world. No, probably not. Those are very common ones. But there are others. Right now it came to me that probably there is an important pattern in which the male accepts the female superiority/guidance. But I am not the right person to speak about it. Anyone feels like describing it?
This Man 