becoming a womanizer as a way to intimacy

In the last post I said I was going to devote myself into becoming a womanizer.

Tessa immediately reacted:
…Like womanizing, it is a game to get a piece of ass, has nothing whatsoever to do with true intimacy between two people. How does learning how to manipulate and finesse a woman into a sexual coupling create true intimacy?

This is chicks logic at its best. But before answering please, first follow me:

One of the errors that most women make, a huge error, and a very common one, is that they think they are in control of themselves. While they are not.

You don’t control attraction.

But this age old observation is ignored, and if a woman is attracted to you she will think she is attracted to you regardless. Just because of your inside. Because you are fit for her. Never because of what you do, but always because of who you are. But who you are, who you have shown to be, is defined by your attitude, your action, your language… in short all things that you do, or you can change.

How many man are there who have never had a girlfriend. Many. Did they just never met their other half? Naa, they met her… and sent her away. How many are single right now, and would not to be so… Many, really a lot. Me, too. How many are single or are in a relationship because they don’t want to risk to be alone… even more.

The truth is that men are generally unsatisfied with sex. Not only they (I mean, we) are often unable to relate to women.

Now let us suppose that an un-sexually awakened man meets the girl of his dreams. Or just a girl he really likes. What is generally his reaction? Unless he had a lot of experiences under the belt, and probably had started having them when he was really young, he will be terrorised. Scared of fucking up all. This fear will fuck up all. And she will go away thinking what a loser did I met.

But of course there is another possibility, he might somehow manage, enough for her to realise that she might, after all, be somehow interested in him. Interested, not attracted. The two things are totally different. So they’ll start to go out. And since he is attracted to her, and she is interested in her, he will push to get closer. She will pull away. The more he will try to get closer, the less attraction he will have for her. In the meantime she will go our with guys to don’t give a damn about her, and are only half that interesting as he could be. She is in short making out with the alpha males, while using him as a confessor. Terrible. And when he will finally make a move, (try to!) kiss her, or whatever she will do the worse action ever for her. She had it all, she had the alpha male, and the confessor. She used him, while having fun with the guy she was attracted to. So when her confessor tries to kiss her, what does she do…
she takes away his male status by LJBF’ing him¹. This is terrible. Not only harms the guy, but also the chick. Because the chick is unable to see him in a sexual way. He was too needy. And he was so needy, because he was sexually frustrated. The chick is unable to be attracted to him. She just can’t do it.

Now, being a womanizer means that a man can pull off at any time. He can have the sex that he wants, and is not tied to that one woman. He is not in a weak position, while giving her the lead. He is in a strong position, which is also arousing for her, and makes her drip wet. She respects him. And independently of the fact if he respect her or not (he might or might not) it is not possible to have attraction between two people if the female energy carrier does not respect the male energy carrier. It just cannot happen, because she would use him, and move on. Or LJBF him, and let him move on.

Learning how to deal with women, how to seduce them, how to attract them, how not to care, how to lightly manipulate them to have sex is paramount to be respected by a woman.

Now the funny thing, and here is the female logic, is that once a women meet a guy who is both a womanizer, and an interesting guy, like Lisa with Neil Strauss in the Game, she will love him for his other qualities. His depth, his intelligence. And she will be in the denial that all this womanizer stuff was of any importance.

“I would have liked you before all that self-improvement shit”

Sais Lisa at the end of The Game (pg. 434) .
But she would not have met him, he would not have been able to look at her without freezing or feeling a jelly inside. He would not have known what to do and how to say. And although with Lisa he had to avoid all the techniques which were unusable respect to her, he still had his security, and the clear map of the game, and what is supposed to happen, when and why. All this made their meeting possible.

So to answer Tessa,
How does learning how to manipulate and finesse a woman into a sexual coupling create true intimacy?
By making the man feel really self worth, and changing his belief system.
By giving him a map of how a relationship starts.
By sexually unfrustrating him, in a way that let him play it cool near her,
and let her feel attracted because she feels she cannot manipulate him with her sexual power, because he already has all the sex he needs.
By making him going out in the evening, and not staying in his room playing video games or masturbating all the time.

In short by opening him up to his full alpha status.
And women are attracted to alpha male, not to sexually frustrated beta males. They can’t help, it’s just how they are wired. But they can deny it. And they often… to feel they are in charge of themselves.

—-
1) LJBF: Let’s just be friends

News from the jail: becoming a womanizer

At least I had the pleasure of being my own oracle, which is one of the few pleasures you can give yourself, alone. Since my believe system bars the way to the mountain. The direct way toward self fulfilment; I shall take the indirect road. The one that goes down the side, through the swamp and the dirt.

I suppose when I have validated myself as a male, it shall be easier to let it all go. It is the woman who you never fucked that will hunt your dreams when you are old. Not the one you fully took. In other words, I am committing myself to become really a womanizer. Enough of this wishy-washy. Half saint, half sinner.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Neither fully. Neither deeply, neither totally. And since:

If you want to go to the left you need to go to the right,
if you want to go up you first need to go down

Then I am going bastard inside, and learn the Game. Study it in details; join a lair; go to workshops; practice; find wingmen; learn lines; and apply all the concentration, chi, energy, focus, power I have been able to pull off for my meditation for the questionable aim of picking up girls and making them happy… or at least sexually satisfied. I also might need to learn NLP, although I have moral issues in becoming an hypnotist for a laid.

I am starting by working on my clothing style. I am used to go around dressed like a bum. Which was ok for me, since I use to see myself as the incarnation of the natural-man. Spontaneity. The son of a cavewoman and Albert Einstein. Plus it made my inner game tighter. If you can be at ease covered and not dressed you can really be at ease everywhere, anyhow. But the fact of being at ease with rags, does not make your Game easier, just yourself more secure. You still need to take off the rags to Game well.¹ And now is the time.

I shall also make a list of books to read. Start to reframe myself for this topic. Understand when to push and when to pull. When am I getting an IOI, when an IOD and when a neg or a bitch-shield². I use to know a lot. I was not very succesful, but I would try hard. And I had discovered some of the principles that seem to be fundamental in the game. For example I used a fake time constraint all the time opening girls on the street. I would convey it by my body gesture, by the direction my feet where pointing, by the tome of my voice. But although I did some practice it was abviously not enough as I manage to f-close only few times… if we ignore the ones in which the woman just wanted me and took me regardless of all my social errors.

I need to learn to control the frame, and generally the martial art of social situation. Also note that I am already very good in doing all this in the academic world. I know I have value, and thus I am uninterested in everything-everyboody, while being also brilliant. This brought me to the point that I don’t need to search for jobs. Jobs, like trouble, hunt me. Well, I need to learn to do this also with the “gentle” sex.

In other words I need to transform myself from an AFC to a PUA³. And I want to do it without killing my naturality, but by enhancing.

It’s hard to meditate when you have no money to eat. Not just because you need to eat, but because you need to get your hands dirty with the world before leaving it. A similar principle is at work here. I can’t leave the game before having really faced, and mastered, the Game. It’s a compulsion, an genetic necessity, a morally reprovable act I just need to do to feel I have completely lived my life.

So, please, …

…tell my mother I am not coming back

——

1) Take off the rags and put on some clothes!

2) IOI=indicator of interest
IOD=indicator of disinterest
push=pushing a girl away, feigning disinteress, usually through a IOD.
pull=giving IOI to a woman, making her understand that she can still win you, if she tries.
The whole thing follows the cat string theory, and uses her attraction for the barely attainable to get her into building compliance momentum. This momentum is then used to escalate physically. It’s an art, and it can be mastered. It has been mastered plenty of times by people much more socially inept than me.

3) AFC= Average Frustrated Chump,
PUA= pick up artist.

I observe that I believe in love

I don’t believe in believe. I generally don’t think that believing in things is smart. And I surely don’t define my religion by what my believes are.

But I do have to admit that there are situations where I reach a rational conclusion, while my body acts, and reacts in a totally different way. As if reacting to a different worldview. So, in a sense I have rationally accepted that what my subconscious believes is not always the truth. In a similar way in which you can see a picture and think it is a three dimensional image, only to discover that it was made of only two dimensions. There are thousand of visual illusions. Well I think that some of my believes are similar to visual illusions. Some are not. Even if you were to convince me rationally that jumping from from a great height will not harm me, my body would still oppose a serious resistance. This is what I refer to as believe. And this is what I refer to when I say: I believe in love.

I don’t believe in love because I think that it makes any sense rationally. I believe in love because I have observed my body over and over again, and the only way to explain the waxes and wanes of the pain when I am focused on a woman is by admitting that I believe in love.

What do I believe exactly? I believe that there is this connection, and it links two people, and it is symmetric. Symmetry plays a big role in my believe. I believe that you can feel it. You can lie about it, and you can even ignore it, if you are very busy, or very unclear about your inner world.

When I fall in love, it is not so much the love that I feel, but the excitment of the understanding that love is there. This is another way of saying that I act on love as a mean, not as an end. I don’t act directly on the world, but on my understanding of the world.

If I were to realise, suddenly, that no love is there, my pain disappears, as fast as when I was a kid the fear of a ghost would disappear as soon as in the ghost I would recognise the good old hanger, hanging in the penumbra. I was wrong, no reason to be afraid. And similarly, I was wrong, no reason to be excited. Or, I was wrong, no reason to suffer.

So, why do I suffer, when I suffer?
I don’t suffer when she does not love me. I don’t suffer when she is happily making love with another. No, I suffer when she loves me (or so I am illuded), and she does not tell me. I suffer when I am under the illusion¹ that she secretly loves me, but she would not tell. In this sense all the resistance that a woman might have in telling me: “look I really don’t love you”, plays against me.

And there were time, long time ago, when I would corner a woman just to have her telling me the magic 4 words which would suddenly make me feel better. They would not understand it. Neither would I. I would just use it, like you use something that you know it works, although you don’t know why.

Then I stopped playing that game.. First of all a woman who is cornered is not always truthful. Woman just don’t have the same concept of Truth, we guys have. It’s not black and white for most of them. Is many shades of grey, if not even multicolored.
And secondly I would never end up with a girl. Yeah, I would not feel pain, but I was willing to feel pain, if in this way I could get the girl.

So the whole thing changed. I started to feel that love was something that could pass unrecognised, until a person would stay by herself long enough, enough to recognise it. Did you ever had a woman tell you: I could not feel the love for you, but then I left, and as I was alone on vacation all distractions left me, and you remained. Isn’t it wonderful when it happens? Love was there even before. Surely it wasn’t the period far away from me that increased our connection. It just went on the foreground when all the rest disappeared.
Also it could grow or fade. So I tried not to solve the equation soon, but let it unravel naturally. Withstanding the pain.

And is a strange situation. Think about it:
If she loves me, and she recognise it, I feel no pain.
If she does not love me, and she tells me, I feel no pain.
But the doubt kills me.

And of course this makes me a terrible gamer. Impatient. Too sensitive.

And the worse of all is when she tells me… and I don’t believe her. And this is how I see that I believe in love. It’s an observation. If I did not believe that love was symmetric I could rest on the realization that I love her, and she did not love me. Fair enough, right?

But it doesn’t work like this, you see. The more I am sure of my observation, the more I pretend to know her feeling better than herself. Either I am wrong, and I don’t love her. Or she is wrong, mistaken or lying. The idea that love might be not symmetric is not even considered. And the fact that I assume that love is symmetric is the clear sign of my unconscious belief.

But you see, often love, and attraction is symmetric. And often woman do lie about it. I remember how surpriesed I were the first time I did a particular social meditation. This meditation involves many people, it comprises various parts. In one you are supposed to go and dance erotically with other people. Boys or girls, your choise. Of course they might move away. You chose with whom you dance. You chose how dirty you dance with them. Will you dance cheek to cheek or grope them in the middle of the floor. I have seen it all, and done most. But the fact that is ritualised. That the social element is left out. That no bond is built that will survive the end of the meditation, makes everybody more free.

I remember the girls that I liked, the same one I was attracted to, come and look for me. It was an amazing sensation. Because no one would dance with everybody. The time was limited, and so you had to chose your partners. I had girls that I liked coming and dancing with me while I was already dancing with another girl. It was an awakening experience. Revitalizing, but it made me realise how much girls are contracted. How much they lie. How much they expect you to act. But most of all how much they pretend they are not interested when in truth they are very, very interested.

I remember speaking about all this with a friend of mine who have been doing the same meditation for a bit longer. He confirmed every bit of it. “Yes” he said, “you end up thinking: but then you really are assholes”. [pretending to be that uninterested]

And this just for attraction. Chemical attraction. And if this is how symmetric attraction often (but not always!) is, my subconscious is excused for assuming that love has to be symmetric, too. Don’t you think so?

————-
1) it is a belief too, but since I have already used the word believe speaking about the general issue of love, i.e. I believe in love (that is, I believe love exists), I don’t want to confuse you guys (and our only female reader, Tasha) in calling it a belief too. So we have two levels:

1. I believe there is a love connection between me and x.
2. I believe love exists.

Those are separate claims, although the first subsumes the second. And for the rest of the entry I shall try to use the word believe only for the second case, and ‘I am under the illusion’, or ‘I feel’ in the first case. Sorry for the complication but sometimes the world is complicated, and simplifying beyond its intrinsec complexity is not the right thing to do.