At least I had the pleasure of being my own oracle, which is one of the few pleasures you can give yourself, alone. Since my believe system bars the way to the mountain. The direct way toward self fulfilment; I shall take the indirect road. The one that goes down the side, through the swamp and the dirt.
I suppose when I have validated myself as a male, it shall be easier to let it all go. It is the woman who you never fucked that will hunt your dreams when you are old. Not the one you fully took. In other words, I am committing myself to become really a womanizer. Enough of this wishy-washy. Half saint, half sinner.
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Neither fully. Neither deeply, neither totally. And since:
If you want to go to the left you need to go to the right,
if you want to go up you first need to go down
Then I am going bastard inside, and learn the Game. Study it in details; join a lair; go to workshops; practice; find wingmen; learn lines; and apply all the concentration, chi, energy, focus, power I have been able to pull off for my meditation for the questionable aim of picking up girls and making them happy… or at least sexually satisfied. I also might need to learn NLP, although I have moral issues in becoming an hypnotist for a laid.
I am starting by working on my clothing style. I am used to go around dressed like a bum. Which was ok for me, since I use to see myself as the incarnation of the natural-man. Spontaneity. The son of a cavewoman and Albert Einstein. Plus it made my inner game tighter. If you can be at ease covered and not dressed you can really be at ease everywhere, anyhow. But the fact of being at ease with rags, does not make your Game easier, just yourself more secure. You still need to take off the rags to Game well.1 And now is the time.
I shall also make a list of books to read. Start to reframe myself for this topic. Understand when to push and when to pull. When am I getting an IOI, when an IOD and when a neg or a bitch-shield2. I use to know a lot. I was not very succesful, but I would try hard. And I had discovered some of the principles that seem to be fundamental in the game. For example I used a fake time constraint all the time opening girls on the street. I would convey it by my body gesture, by the direction my feet where pointing, by the tome of my voice. But although I did some practice it was abviously not enough as I manage to f-close only few times… if we ignore the ones in which the woman just wanted me and took me regardless of all my social errors.
I need to learn to control the frame, and generally the martial art of social situation. Also note that I am already very good in doing all this in the academic world. I know I have value, and thus I am uninterested in everything-everyboody, while being also brilliant. This brought me to the point that I don’t need to search for jobs. Jobs, like trouble, hunt me. Well, I need to learn to do this also with the “gentle” sex.
In other words I need to transform myself from an AFC to a PUA3. And I want to do it without killing my naturality, but by enhancing.
It’s hard to meditate when you have no money to eat. Not just because you need to eat, but because you need to get your hands dirty with the world before leaving it. A similar principle is at work here. I can’t leave the game before having really faced, and mastered, the Game. It’s a compulsion, an genetic necessity, a morally reprovable act I just need to do to feel I have completely lived my life.
So, please, …
…tell my mother I am not coming back
——
1) Take off the rags and put on some clothes!
2) IOI=indicator of interest
IOD=indicator of disinterest
push=pushing a girl away, feigning disinteress, usually through a IOD.
pull=giving IOI to a woman, making her understand that she can still win you, if she tries.
The whole thing follows the cat string theory, and uses her attraction for the barely attainable to get her into building compliance momentum. This momentum is then used to escalate physically. It’s an art, and it can be mastered. It has been mastered plenty of times by people much more socially inept than me.
3) AFC= Average Frustrated Chump,
PUA= pick up artist.
27 October, 2006 at 3:44 pm
At least the way you bounce keeps up my alertness, wondering what else you are going to come up with next.
I did not realize there was a special terminology for the game you mention. I know my sisters and an old boy friend was trying to explain some kind of “rules” to me.
I tend to be completely oblivious to these aaa”rules”.
I don’t think much of the idea of dumbing down or of giving the impression of being more or less than simply who I am.
I think it is more than sufficient that I think before I speak
as to avoid total, blunt straight forward honesty and soften it with consideration and empathy of whom I speak to.
From what I see of “the game” it is more about power and control, eliciting a response and gving a momentary sense of empowerment when one is feeling the least in control and feeling powerless within one self and it enables one to rise a little higher. But if one increases self esteem the need to feel that empowerment and control becomes very trivial.
Staying on a path, sometimes vines run across the trail causing the path to disappear for a brief moment or on hills/mountains the trail can be more precarious and whole paths can be washed away and one has to look for an alternate route to where one wants to go. Sometimes one hits that washed away path and stops, turns around and gives up.
If one is your own oracle, then how come one cannot choose ones own path to where they want to go?
27 October, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Those are not “rules”, but observations of what actually works and what not.
But if one increases self esteem the need to feel that empowerment and control becomes very trivial.
This is what I thought, too. But it’s not true, at least not for us, men. We really need to get laid to feel good about ourselves, and the inner game is not enough to get you laid. We fantasize that it is so. Because of the values we grew up from (honesty, integrity). But observations in hand (again reality versus a mental construction) shows that it is not enough.
If one is your own oracle, then how come one cannot choose ones own path to where they want to go?
Again (3) because the oracle observes, does not dictate. Although to the outside observer might seem he does. I could have been ignorant of what it would have happened. Or aware of it. But in both cases just an observer.
28 October, 2006 at 2:53 am
You think?
Here is old american bluntness. I orgasm at least once a day.I don’t need a man for simple physical satisfaction. Figure if I can satisfy myself as well as I do, why bother with a male partner unless he can fulfil me more than that. I don’t have to deal with any game playing or any of it. The men from 18 to 60ish who stare or follow me around, or hang out of car windows hollering to catch my attention.
Or try to pick me up where ever. Not into it at all. I do not dress provocatively but I seem to be magnetic. I do not play games with men and I do not like it if they try with me.
Anyways…good day.
28 October, 2006 at 10:32 am
…and…?
Giving yourself an orgasm, can be relaxing, and necessary.
But the only thing you cannot give yourself is intimacy with another human being. We men are not so much into sex to orgasm. That we learn at age 13. We are into sex because it is through that that we get really intimate with another human being.
Well, at least me.
BTW, will you keep on doubting everything I say?
28 October, 2006 at 3:21 pm
I ALWAYS ask questions. Ever since I was a child I wanted to KNOW how everything worked and when and WHY it worked. Not really a doubting thing. Sometimes I will ask something, just to be contrary and propose an oppositional view point just to seee how and what a person does with it.
Piece of ass sex for either male or female is not truly initimate. It provides for physical satisfaction only. I do agree that some men may seem to see that as intimate as I have run into men who are not emotional mature and not able to differentiate the two states. It can be good but for intimacy to exist I think there has to be a mental/emotional connection with the sexual partner where it means more than simply getting a piece of ass. Like womanizing, it is a game to get a piece of ass, has nothing whatsoever to do with true intimacy between two people. How does learning how to manipulate and finesse a woman into a sexual coupling create true intimacy?
I understand the power of touch. Positive touching in a pre-mature infant will increase the desire to live and flourish, the massage of a pre-mature infant can cause the infant to grow and develop into an infant and child that maintains at more accurate developmental stages for age. Negative touching of a pregnant woman, like in domestic violence can create a baby with a chemical imbalance in the brain, which sets a precedent for continued domestic violence in the off spring and can appear to have ADD or ADHD symptoms.
Bonding is stronger when there is bare skin to skin contact, as the body builds a chemical/hormonal memory of the other. Massaging a partner can increase the release of this same chemical or endorphen in the body. So sexual contact can increase bonding but how MUCH of a bond is measured by the inner mental and emotional state AND touching.
Men and Women confuse sex and intimacy all the time, thinking an exciting sexual relationship is equal to love.
Sleeping with another is more intimate than the sex in regards to duration. Bare skin to skin tangled limbs throughout the night provides more touch stimulus for building or maintaining bonds. One thing marriage couples do when they start having problems is not sleep with each other or they get mad and then go to bed and there is no physical contact. Alot of couples touch more in the beginning then they get busy, get more rushed dealing with life and the touching becomes less. So touching needs to be maintained for bonds to exist. Same thing with negative touching or lack of touch and sleep deprivation, part of brain washing to break down and control another person. Or teaching a person to find pleasure in pain, at least the person experiencing the pain is being touched. Same with abusive situations, bit of brain washing and negative bonds.
i actually woke up thinking about OUTW which is an acronym for a science fiction/fantasy I am working on. So I gotta go deal with fanatic mages, how to fly on a dragon without falling off the other side and ascendents being assassinated.
ttfn
29 October, 2006 at 9:57 am
You don’t remember much about your last life as a male, right?
10 May, 2007 at 12:21 am
I am a female who regularly engages in “casual sex” whenever I choose. Former partners seem to have problems with it later though. They don’t like it when I move on to sample another treat, especially if we run into each other later, or it is someone they know. They typically act like brats and snipe from a distance and disparage me behind my back. Think carefully, it may not be you who is in control….I never stay with a man that displeases me in any way, even if we are naked and I don’t like the look of his penis. I will simply leave. I will play the hard to get prude, the bitch, the whore, the mommy or whatever their egos seem to require. Quid pro quo, they NEVER get theirs until I am done. True love is probably nice, I wouldn’t know, I haven’t run across it yet. I most certainly have no intention of denying myself pleasure waiting for true love, a soul mate or whatever.